Nice Girls Finish Last Too

Published on 4 June 2024 at 16:52

It isn't just nice guys who are passed up for the bad boys. Nice girls are experiencing a similar thing at the hands of men, and sometimes it's the nice guys who are doing the passing up! Why is it that men and women seem to prefer to date those who walk on the wild side?

It could first and foremost be an age thing. When we're in our teens to mid-twenties, we are still finding ourselves. We don't really know what is good or bad for us. All we know is what we're attracted to. We are mostly driven by our emotions and hormones at that stage. But as we get older, we begin to refine what we desire in a partner--most of us, at least.

Truth be told, there still remains a handful of men and women who are still attracted to the bad boy/bad girl type well into adulthood. Maybe this could be blamed on our need for excitement. Relationships are not all about love, it’s also about entertainment. We don’t want to be in love but be bored with the one we're in love with. We want mental and emotional stimulation. It's possible that nice guys and nice girls just don’t emotionally or mentally stimulate some people in the way bad boys and bad girls do.

Take some time and observe the bad girls. They don't appear to be shy or unsure of themselves. They are bold, open, and willing to talk and share themselves with others. Maybe they share a little too much too soon, but still, they are engaging. Why? Because they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. There are so many women who are truly interesting people, but they're afraid to engage with others because of their social anxieties. They are always thinking, “What will they think about me? Will they think I’m weird? Will they judge me?” This kind of thinking gives nice girls a disadvantage in the dating world even if they're good-hearted people. 

The bad girls and bad boys have something that a lot us of wish we had--a free spirit. We don't want to be burdened and inhibited by other people's opinions of us. We want to be ourselves and have no worries about the consequences. When we can't bring ourselves to be that free, we are fascinated by those who can. Imagine how you would engage with others had you not been concerned about judgment? It would be a game changer, wouldn’t it? This is what nice girls, or any woman, should aspire to become one day. Not crazy, wild, or promiscuous like a bad girl, but comfortable with who she is to the point where there is no shame or bitterness about how she's perceived.

The relationship that you have with yourself greatly influences the relationships you have with others. If you’re uncomfortable, shy or insecure, you’re going to be at the mercy of those who aren’t. Do yourself a favor and get comfortable with yourself. Be unapologetically you even if you are the nice girl, and you will get noticed.

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