From Situationship to Relationship

Published on 4 June 2024 at 19:27

So, let’s get this straight: we have the “We’re just talking” situation, the “We’re just friends but we sleep together” situation, then the “We used to be together, but now we’re on a break” situation, and finally we have the “We’re technically not together, but we aren’t going to date other people either” situation.

These relationships where you aren’t just friends but you're not quite a couple either seems to be the new norm. This “in between” relationship is just like when people say they’re “in between jobs”. It's just a cute way of saying you’re unemployed, and a situationship is a cute way to say you're both still single. The problem is being “in between” oftentimes forbids you from dating other people, but at the same time, forbids you from calling the man you're dating “bae”.

A situationship may be comfortable for a little while. After all, we have to go through a courting stage before entering a relationship anyway. But this stage should not last several months and beyond. Soon, you will be in a predicament where you’re forced to ask the awkward question, “So…what are we?” When you find yourself asking this question, your situationship has gone on far too long. The chances that it will turn into a real relationship at this point is slim.

To be clear, if either of you don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s totally fine. There is just something very deceptive about dragging a person along for months and months knowing that you don’t really want to be official with them. This is why it's best to set your own deadline for the “in between” stage. How long are you willing to be more than a friend but not quite "bae"? You need to know this before you begin courting anyone. This will protect you from having your time wasted by a person who just wants to be entertained while you want something serious.

Don’t be afraid to vocalize this, especially once you see that your deadline is approaching. Let your friend know that you are looking for a real relationship. No, it doesn’t make you look pushy or desperate. It just lets them know that if they don’t want what you want, then you are going to move on. It is your responsibility to tell them to poop or get off the pot.

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